Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Memories Of A Dream

Last night I was disturbed... It took me long to fall into the obligation of sleep. I knew this for sure because I was staring at the bright clock in the dark room. It was well before 1 AM. I knew something was bothering me but i couldn't see what it was. I concentrated on my inner voice, but i dint hear anything... I turned around the bed wishing for the peace of sleep to find me... And finally I took my mobile, plugged the ear phone and set to hear some melodies....

The next thing I knew was the sound of my mom calling me, 'Wake up. wake up'. the fear in her voice or the coldness of her awoke the usually lazy me in an instant. I looked into her face. In the bright light of the florescent lamp, I saw the tears flowing down her eyes. I felt an odd kind of pain seizing my soul... After a moment I found my voice and asked her, 'Mama what happened?'  Her answer was more tears that squeezed my heart more. 'Mama, tell me what happened?' I shook  her. And in her tears all she managed was a single word, 'DAD......'.For a moment I was stuck in place. I felt the blood leaving my face and the coldness wrapping around me....

I ran to my dad's room.... Did I hit the sofa? I don't remember....All i  remember is the cold, pale, lifeless body of my dad lying on the bed.... I heard someone howling, and realized it was my own voice... Suddenly the force to balance gravity was no more in me..... I dint feel myself slipping down... I didn't feel the tears falling down.... I dint feel the coldness of the floor below me....I dint hear the sounds escaping me. I don't know how much time I sat like that... I wasn't aware of anything other than the fact that my dad is no more. The foundation on which I build my world is no more there... I felt like being crushed... I felt like being teared apart... The person I loved and respected more in the world is no more there.... I couldn't imagine my world anymore.... It doesn't exist....I don't exist... I felt my vision getting blurred...

                        *                        *                                    *                                       

I woke up with a rush.. For a minute, I dint know what was happening. I shook my head thrice before I cleared my vision. my eyes were staring at my book self. I turned around but found nothing unusual. I checked the time and it was 7 in the morning.

I realized I was just dreaming... I couldn't stop the sigh that left me. I got out of bed and ran to the living area where my dad sat reading the morning news paper. For a minute I couldn't stop the single drop of tear that slipped from my eyes.... I don't remember how long I  stood there looking at him before he saw me and asked me ' Oh, what happened? You woke up early today'. 

I just smiled at him and went to sit with him........    


Sunday, June 19, 2011

എന്ടെ യാത്ര

മഴവില്ലിന്ടെ വര്‍ണ്ണങ്ങള്‍ ചാല്ലിച്ച അക്ഷരക്കൂട്ടുകളുടെ ആടയനിയിച്ച     അതി സുന്ദരിയാണ് കവിതകള്‍ . മുള്‍മുനകള്‍ കൊണ്ട് മുറിവേറ്റ മനസ്സിന്ടെ മനോഹരമായ മണ്ടഹാസമാണ് കവിത എന്ന് പറയുന്നതിലും തെറ്റില്ല. 

മനസ്സിന്ടെ അഗാതങ്ങളെ ആഴത്തില്‍ തൊടുന്ന മഹാന്മാരുടെ പേനകള്‍ വിഹരിച്ച വഴികളിലൂടെ ഇഴയുവാന്‍ ഞാന്‍ ശ്രമിക്കുന്നു . വഴിയില്ലെ  മുള്ളുകളും പുഷ്പ സ്പര്‍ശങ്ങളും ഏറ്റു ഞാന്‍ എന്ടെ യാത്ര തുടങ്ങുനതെ ഉള്ളു !!

Saturday, June 18, 2011

Where are my thoughts?

Where are my thought?
I wounder how they slipped!
was it on the person
whom I loved the most?
was it on the person
Whom expired last night?
Was it on the person
who was my best friend?
or was it on the person
who had wounded me the most?
I wounder, lying on the bed of grasses.
Where are my thought?

Maybe it is on the sun,
That shines so bright.
Maybe it is on the moon,
That lightened my nights
Maybe they are on the, 
raindrops dropping down the mat.
Or maybe on the wind,
that is caressing my chest.
I wounder lying on the bed of grass
Where are my thoughts?

Friday, June 17, 2011

The Uninvited Visitor

Death is just a closed door away.... how easily people you see regularly becomes people u saw..... How cruelly life brings its twist.... sometimes i wounder how carelessly fate plays with us..... And all that is left to do is stand and watch how the play goes.....

Thursday, June 16, 2011

An Irish Blessing Song

May the road rise to meet you.
May the wind always be at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
And the rain fall soft upon your fields.
And until we meet again,
May the god hold you in the palm of his hand.

Wednesday, June 15, 2011


Though how my heart cries..
Though how life tries its funny twist!
How far would I manage to climb,
Though the fear of crumbling down? 
Alas my life! Alas the fear!
Oh, how I fear, it's nothing near!

A little Bit of Salt

If life is sweetened  too much Then, my dear, You better add a little bit of salt....as too much sugar is injurious to health

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

What, oh What A Night Was That!

I remember that night
hot air and moon beams were
possessed with an irresistible magic!
The stars from the sky
Blinked towards Me.
Angels in the heaven
rejoiced the picture
The full moon so bright 
that i thought it displaced the sun...
But there was something
about the moon light itself
So natural, So pure, so heavenly..
Small clouds floating around the
sky embracing the moon
And the icy picture of the sky....
What Oh What a night was that!

The air was so exotic with the
fragrance of the night's Jasmine
blooming in the secret of the night..
But except all this
there was peace in my soul
peace in my heart
Peace inside me...
What oh what a night was that!

As the wind blew, I could
Feel the freedom of the sky
calling towards me...
Pulling me towards it...
The freedom filled me 
it swept me like 
a leaf floating in the  wind
I went with it for the
endless journey. It 
guided me towards the
endless, endless, endless freedom

Sunday, June 12, 2011

The Door Unlocked

Mistakes happens. Things goes bad. You curse your own people and yourself. You wants to move things but you do not find any way out. You feel like your are doomed forever. Left out. Bla Bla Bla! But the truth is that there is always  ways out. But none of us bothers to find it.

It is like you are in an empty room full of door to outside. In your panic to get out as soon as possible, you push some doors with all of your strength  but none of it opens. You get all depressed and more anxious. You realize (of course not the truth) that all doors are locked and your brain shuts down. So now you don't use your force well enough and no use either!  And finally you accept to yourself that you are stuck.

So now what? More fear and more anxiety. What you don't see is that some doors are in fact unlocked and you could not open them because it didn't use your force wisely and usefully.

This is exactly what happens in life. You Get moved to a mansion called life. There are many rooms, useful ones and dangerous ones. Your ultimate aim is to escape from this mansion without much hurt. There are servants to help you. There are guards to see to that you don't escape. In your worry to get out of the mansion you get stuck in little rooms called problems. You try to escape but you can't. There are doors called solutions waiting for you to open. But in your tension and worries you can't open a single one of them....

So now what? Get stuck in the room??? Of course not!!! You need to escape! You need to reach your goal. So here is what to do... When you get locked in tiny rooms called problems. don't panic, just trust in yourself and believe that some or the other door is unlocked and is waiting for you to  open. Be patient and you will see what patience can do for you.

Enjoy the joy of life, but try to enjoy the sadness more and you will see how much your life has changed . Always remember, Problems are only to let you know your hidden potential!!

Friday, June 10, 2011

The Chain of Life

Walking up the veranda,I saw my grand mom all old and cranky sitting on the chair .I shouted, "Grandma", but she dint answer.

Holding up the fear that ate at my soul, I realized what I 
always feared...She is no more the same and never will be the same She is old and aging as I am writing now...For a  minute the terror of death was too much to par. When the pain ceased  my soul I looked away to the wall. Somehow my eyes fell on the chain that was left at the corner.

It was all strong and new when my grandfather bought it years ago.It had guarded grand dad's bicycle  to grand mom's chest. Now its nothing more than a rusty old piece of metal. Its all weak and no use to anyone and no one seems to care its existence,'Why is the chain lying there', I asked her. Her answer was a cough that went on for a whole minute.It took her another minute to whisper to me that its old and no use now, and she requested me in her fading voice to throw it away to the garbage.

I went to take it and held in  my hands and for a minute the tears slipped my eyes for a moment too deep.I left it in the garbage and walked back with a heavy heart,to a grand mom who is no more the same....



 What do mean you by mystique?
A river too long? A sea too deep?
A planet too huge? A galaxy too wide?
I know, not. But would you,
care to tell me the meaning?

I searched the deepest of the love!
the deepest of the oceans!
But still I returned Empty handed...
The word does give me something.
A world full of promises.
The spicy edge  does tells me,
A night without sleep..


I know now all of it
Of course, what could be more
Mystique than Mystique itself?!

Thursday, June 9, 2011

The Rain

I sat on the chair
and watched the rain
that fell on the earth 
as a mercy of the sky...

The roar came up high
the sky opened its eye
and the tears fell down
on earth, mercilessly.

Though it came unexpectedly,
It continued with excitement.
It came with force and
 thunder mixed with it
and made it a cry of pain.
some came unaccompanied,
and was not remembering long.
something made it exciting.
something made it  intolerable.
sometimes long, while
sometimes short.

The roar came up high
The sky opened it eye
and the tears fell down
on earth, mercilessly.

As I watched the rain
I thought of life.
Isn't it the same?!
Isn't it all the way of life?!

The Chain of Life

( This picture is not taken by me. I was just browsing the web for this and that and suddenly this picture caught my eyes and the caption stuck my brain Hoping to come up with something that match this caption..... )

Tuesday, June 7, 2011


Sad though the lonely heart....
Sad though the lonely soul...
Happiness poured from the sky
Though not yet reached the eye...

It is easy to pretend the smile
tougher to bring up to mile....
Ask the heart, Ask the mind..
Cruel as the tiger, it betrays the kind.

Go up and Go down, Go up and Go down.
Going on and on but still upside down.
Cold and still as the statue of liberty
is what my heart became less of priority.

Come summer the snow will melt
Come dawn the moon will set
I wounder though for what 
to come for me to rest....

This wind... This raindrops....

As I am siting around and watching the rain showering, I felt the days slipping by and suddenly I am back to those good old days....The school that made me what I'm....

The school might be in the heart of the city but when you stand on the foot of the hill that takes you directly to heaven...You do not hear any of the noise.. You do not feel any of the tension vibe around you anymore....

And especially on a RAINY DAY.....

Its like walking up a river... The rain water flowing down the brick paved lane....(But now its not bricks any more.... miss those bricks badly.....)

Its risky to drive a bike throw the hill during a rainy day... So most of the parents use to drop the children down the hill......

When I was a kid, with the all other kids, I use to walk throw those dirty water that flows down the hill with all the waste from the above.... And my shoes would get all wet..... :)

So as I walk up... I am not alone.. through I am all alone because I never managed to make much friends until I was in my 8th std....then wondering who else is with me???....

The chill wind on  my face.. the  Cold water on my legs... 

Ever since I was a kid the beauty of the place has never failed to fascinate me... If I could choose a place to be in a cold rainy day then I would surely choose that hill....

Even now when its nothing more than memories all I have to do is close my eyes and I could feel it all over again.....

The icy water on my legs... the cold wind brushing my face...and of coarse the  heavy weight of my school bag on my shoulders....

But the heavy school bag was better than the unseen burden on my shoulders now.....

Sunday, June 5, 2011


Wind comes, swift
Proud and uncontrollable
Breaking the shatters of my window
Throwing away my papers
Throwing my books down the self
He wont have it another way
Make our self prepare for such
An awful performance
Make the heart prepare
For the worst ….

And so does fate comes
Just like the wind
Bringing the best
Bringing the worst
Uncontrollable just like he was
Unstoppable just like he was
Make our self prepare for such
An awful performance
Make the heart prepare
For the worst …

Friday, June 3, 2011


My racks are full of sacks
My heart is full of memories
They come to me often
Good and bad. Happy and sad.
My first day in school to my last day….
My best friend to my worst enemy….
Colourful ones and dull ones….
I ran down the memory lane
There as I went back, for some
reason, my tears wont stop….
I thought I lost my mind ….
Crying over the best days and laughing
at the worst days…..
The full day gang activities to
Single embarrassing moments…
As the memories won’t stop
I stuck up in between, I wondered
Why I stopped and there he was
my first love… I thought of
how foolishly I cried and now
here I’m laughing at the same tears
but then the memories won’t stop
there were things there which
I thought I couldn’t live without..
And here I’m…. gave up
Every single of all those things…..
Life goes by so does me…
My new friends replaced my lost ones..
My new life replaced my old one
I am not complaining for I have
More than I deserve….
But yet in some part of me I
Wish they were all there, always….
A part of me, 4ever…..
But life goes by so does me…….
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